I don’t know about you guys but I became a YUGE Kevin Kisner fan during the Presidents Cup and The PGA Tour Championship. I’m not a fan of the athletes that the common man, like myself, cannot relate to. For example I’m not a huge fan of Tiger Woods because the average man does not have a monster dong. (Tiger Woods’s dong caught me off guard.. I thought the black and the Asian background would balance itself out and he would have an average white guy dong BOY WAS I WRONG THAT ONE EYED SNAKE IS BLACK AF). I don’t care for Bubba Watson that much anymore because of his weight loss. Hold on, let me clarify, it is not that Bubba lost weight, rather the way he lost the weight. You wanna know what he stopped eating? “Oh, everything that tastes good.” (His words not mine). But you want to know who I like in golf? John Daly (because the common man loves Hooters and when the common man gets older they drink diet coke), Jordan Spieth (RIP in peace hair), Matt Kuchar (every common man knows how to shit talk), and Kevin Kisner (you will find out).
It the time of this tweet Kiz was tied second at The PGA Tour Championship at East Lake Golf Course in Atlanta, Georgia. Kiz is an alum of University of Georgia so this tweet would make some sense. But for the typical pro golfer they would be completely focused on the next round of golf, not Kiz the common man. A common man would want to watch his alma mater play at home against Mississippi State.
Kisner’s wish came true. Some badass with a helicopter in Atlanta flew him to Athens for the game and flew him back.
A true die hard fan will drop anything on Saturday night to watch their team. If there is a wedding on Saturday night I’m not going, I have football to watch. It is not my fault you can’t plan your wedding on a correct date. Women need to learn this lesson the most, do not plan any events on the weekend, Monday, or Thursday night during the fall. Sorry not sorry but football is lightyears ahead of any other event. Hey Grandma’s funeral is on Sunday. Sorry football is on, tell her I said hi. Hey my water broke. Honey it is the weekend just pinch your legs and wait for Tuesday. Hey, you should go to sleep early because you are T-2 at The PGA Tour Championship. Umm does anyone have a helicopter to take me to the game?
Now I could have ended this blog by now, I have already established how Kiz is a common man. But I would be doing a disservice to America if I did not Kiz being a great American at the Presidents Cup. What goes together like peanut butter and jelly, like peanuts or tobacco and baseball, or for me Adderall and myself? Alcohol and America.
Guess what? Kiz fucking delivered! I have to say Kiz is doing is part on ending the pussification of America. I wouldn’t say anyone needs a strong dose of America at the Presidents Cup. No one kneeled and everyone was rocking the most beautiful color combination ever invented Red, White, and Blue.
P.S.- I think I just wrote my favorite blog ever. It had America, football, alcohol, smut sports, beautiful women (shoutout to Melania) and more America. All it needed was a fight, sports gambling, and someone roasting a vegan and/or liberal.
P.P.S.- I love how the Golf.com tweet had 76 retweets