Dude Almost Lost His Dick From Using A Cock Ring No It’s Not Frank Reynolds

 

 

So I’m on Barstool Sports like always reading through the blogs and I come across one blog that caught my eye. “Dude Strangles His Dick Trying To Use His WEDDING RING As A Cock Ring” I’m thinking this one will be great, it’s set up on a tee ready for one of the bloggers to take is out of the park. But there is one problem Feits clearly struck out so I had to go to the actual article and read about what happened. One thing everyone should know I hate to read more than I need to. I honestly take pride in never reading a book.

Here is part of the article:

A rare penile strangulation emergency in which a man had put a wedding ring on his penis for erotic pleasure has been described in the latest issue of the SA Medical Journal (SAMJ).The 28-year-old man, who was in “severe pain”, was admitted to a hospital in Limpopo accompanied by his mother.”His penis was severely swollen and blue, and constricted with a ring (wedding ring) at the middle section. The patient reported that he had applied the ring four hours previously for erotic reasons, on the recommendation of friends,” 

You seriously must have shitty friends with the worst advice on the planet. At what point do you think a ring on a dick is a great idea? Wouldn’t your woman be asking questions? Well I don’t know because she married a man with a tic tac dick so this wouldn’t all that strange.

SPIN ZONE what if the wife is blind? Oh shit that would make sense. When she asks if the tic tac dick is in you just lie like a motherfucker and say yes. She can’t debate it because she can’t see anything. Then when she feels a ‘ring’ you act crazy tell her she is out of her mind because again she would have no clue what a ring looks like in the first place.

I knew I should not have read further I had a solid blog but I was intrigued. WARNING IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH I ADVISE YOU TO STOP READING HERE. The next piece in the article is how they took it off. I’m dry heaving as I write this but I show my grit and know I have to inform my fellow patriots.

Hospital staff sedated the man and first tried to remove the ring by the string method, but the swelling was too excessive. An orthopaedic oscillating saw was then used, but the ring was too wide and too strong and there was limited space due to the swelling. They then attempted the aspiration method, making punctures in his penis to release the stored blood, according to Netwerk24. “Multiple puncture aspirations were applied with a 20ml syringe and a pink needle. The oedema subsided and the ring was successfully removed.”The man was treated with antibiotics and analgesia and was discharged after three days.

Now this man has a swiss cheese tic tac dick. He seriously needs to kill himself now. Why live, honestly? Every time you take a piss you are reminded of the time you put a ring on your dick. Furthermore you see the marks where they stabbed multiple times to drain the blood. Again why live?

If you noticed the tic tac swiss cheese dick man is from Johannesburg, South Africa (foreign fuck). There was a man that suck his dick in a glass bottle in Brazil (foreign fuck). Do you see a trend? NO AMERICAN MAN IS THAT FUCKING STUPID. Add it to the list why America is number one.

 

 

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