Following Game 4, Indians skipper Terry Francona was at the team hotel and unable to sleep, so he did what anyone would do: he ordered $44 worth of room service ice cream at 3:30 a.m. He ate it all too.
I have never been a Red Sox fan nor a fan of the Indians but I’ve always had respect for Terry Francona. I’m not sure if it’s because he has led his teams to the World Series on multiple occasions, 3 times to be exact, or my respect is from his heavy use of chew. Every time they show Francona he has a wad of something in his mouth. He is always unwrapping a piece of gum but again he has a history of chewing tobacco. So it’s up the air of what is in his mouth. My respect of the use of chewing tobacco does not mean I use it, I’ve tried it a few times but found it tasted the black licorice. Black licorice is fucking nasty. But the MLB has been trying to ban the use of tobacco products, the managers and players that use it is a kick in the face to MLB. Which is beautiful because I HATE the MLB front office for one reason and one reason only: THE HIT KING PETE ROSE IS BANNED. Now I’m not going on a tangent on my boy Charlie Hustle I’ll save that for another blog.
Back to the ice cream. I love ice cream like no other I throw away the cap of the pint so everyone knows I mean business. If you don’t finish a pint you are a Hillary loving commie ass motherfucker. Tito ordering 44 dollars worth of ice cream but that can vary in the amount definitely since it is from room service in a hotel. We all know hotels jack up the price of everything. So let’s be real it was probably 2-3 pints of ice cream. But the act of eating all of that ice cream at 3:30 in the morning should place him in the hall of fame without a doubt. Slapping 2 maybe 3 World Series rings to the resume seals the deal. Tito is on his way to Cooperstown as I write.
As I mentioned the feat of eating the ice cream at 3:30 is amazing in itself but think of the faces of the room service taking that order when he says it’s only for him. Then the face of the man delivering the ice cream realizing Tito wasn’t fucking around when he said it’s only for him. Beautiful. Fucking Beautiful. I work at a pizza place and during the drunk shift on the weekends this is a common occurrence. The alcohol makes you crave greasy food and you are always overconfident with girls and food. But Tito wasn’t drunk,atleast I hope not. Actually that would be bad ass if he was and managed the Indians that very day in the World Series. You have to respect the move of $44 of ice cream at 3:30 am, true grit right there. When you have half a pint left and can’t eat anymore but you are a man and you don’t know what the word quit means you grind through and finish that son of a bitch.